I don't understand ... What happened?

It went out like a light bulb… suddenly.   Nobody expected it. So many plans, so many dreams that still needed to be fulfilled and suddenly nothing. It went out like a light bulb. Suddenly, without expecting it, your jokes, your cravings, your love, your waiting, your anger and your serenity were no longer there. All those emotions were gone. Without you even realizing it.

His answers sung to the music of the past or now. “Hey kid, for every question or topic you have an appropriate song”… what art or maybe the love you had for salsa music inspired that talent. Those laughs that could be heard on the other side of the house and sometimes like little kids, we looked at each other as if we wanted to tell each other with our eyes that right now they are scolding us for being rowdy or for not being very nice.

You had life, you were full of life and desires. Your body did not want to understand that you did want to live. Mentally you screamed at your body, your body cooperated but it did not obey and always  made you look bad.   They fixed something and two things broke inside. You managed to overcome a symptom and other symptoms arose.   There was no cooperation and you were angry with your body because it made you look bad.   You were angry because the desire to live was too much.   

You blew up like a light bulb. You didn't expect it or realize it.   You left by  surprise. There were plans for the next day to go around town in the regular wheelchair, to buy things.   The sidewalks for the disabled were made and I, your sister, had the strength to help you if you got stuck in some hole in our beautiful city.   I, your sister, thank God, had healthy kidneys, I could do the strength that your wife couldn't do.   Since she had a kidney implant and it was forbidden not to do any strength or   lift anything that was more than 20 lbs.   I did have the strength to escape to go to the bank, eat shortbread and your wheelchair would become your legs. We were going to laugh and sing like the crazy people we were.

The next day you broke our date because you decided to die in the early hours of the morning, preparing to hit the streets.  We were all shocked by your surprise and your  absence.   Your spirit deceived us,   your fragile body deceived us.

Heaven took you.   You burned out like a light bulb… suddenly you were giving light and suddenly you burned out. You went out. Heaven won…heaven won!

Rest in peace my dear brother!  

1958- 2011

*** End ***